shame on me

"i felt like a fool. i had gone so far out on a limb with my feelings that i didn't realize i was standing out there alone.."

i'm here again. i am exactly where i never want to be. i really thought it was going to be different this time. i let myself go more than i ever should have, after all i have kept this wall up with him for so long, why did i think it was okay to let it down this time?

i'm so angry. why did he let it even get this far, no, why did i let it get this far? i should have known him better than that. i should have known that this was only once again, him needing me and me caving in. what did i get from this last week? absolutely nothing! seriously, nothing but more heartache. all i got were memories of making dinner, and cuddling, and waking up to him - the memories that will literally eat me alive later! and what did he get? exactly what he wanted, someone to fill his void for the time being. someone to build him up and make him feel better about himself just so he can go and abandon me again!!

why is it that allow someone so many chances? shouldn't one (maybe two) be enough!?!? why do i feel like every time something will change? maybe if i put in just a little more effort this time will work. who am i kidding!?! he is who he is...and i am obviously not adequate enough to be what who he is wants...

fake plastic trees

my fake plastic love - it wears me out, it wears me out...




and i love the way you roll
excuses off the tip of your tongue
as i slowly fall apart

uncertainty

how come i am always scared to leave you?


because i never know when i am going to see you again...

s & l - round 1,452,098

maybe things change, maybe things will be different. it feels different...













don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess. its a love story, baby just say 'yes'

"i love people who make me laugh"

"i was born with an enormous need for affection,
& a terrible need to give it." - audrey hepburn

"i love people who make me laugh. i honestly think it's the thing i like most, to laugh. it cures a multitude of ills, it's probably the most important thing in a person." - audrey hepburn






•i believe that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distances. the same goes for true love
•i believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life
•i believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person i want to be
•i believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. it may be the last time you see them
•i believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different
•i believe people enter our lives to teach us something
•i believe that life is a journey, often difficult and sometimes incredibly cruel
•in taking time for yourself
•that sometimes you have to let go of who you are to become who you want to be
•it’s better to have a strong mind than be physically strong
•time is the only thing that heals a broken heart
•with good friends & family you can make it through anything
•you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else
•maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be